Facebook: Charles W. Johnson November 06, 2012 at 10:16PM

Polls have closed in a historic election in this secessionist republic of one. This year there was only one candidate for Head of State, Charles W. Johnson, but remarkably, as a result of a protest boycott campaign against the one-party state, Johnson has refused to vote for Charles W. Johnson, leaving the popular vote at 0-0. Given the lack of any voter turnout, there have been widespread fears of legal disputes or civic unrest, turning Charles W. Johnson against Charles W. Johnson, but tonight the state media agency has announced that the SRO will be issuing a press release later tonight declaring that Charles W. Johnson will peaceably step down as Head of State, the Republic will provisionally operate as a free spokescouncil, and all political decisions will henceforward be made by an endless consensus process meeting which will continue until the next election cycle, or until someone needs to leave to go to the bathroom or get some sleep.

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